How to Live a Jing-Centered Life: Honoring Our Sexual Qi Essence

Rahi: Welcome to Organic Sexuality, where we explore the restoration of pleasure, the reclamation of sexual sovereignty and the realization of our embodied sexual nature. An invitation to honor the pleasures of your body by embodying the pleasures of your nature. I'm your host, Rahi Chun. I'm a certified somatic sex educator, sexological bodyworker and creator of Somatic Sexual Wholeness. In today's episode, we explore what it means to live a Jing-centered life. Honoring our life's Qi essence from a TCM - Traditional Chinese Medicine - lens with Kris Gonzalez. What are the Three Golden Opportunities for menstruators and how can we attune to the natural cycles and rhythms, within each day and across a lifetime, to live in harmony with the nature of our nature and of our environment.

Rahi: I'm really, really happy and thrilled to be inviting Kris Gonzalez to the podcast today. Kris is a radiant and shining light on our planet. She's also a licensed acupuncturist and board certified herbalist, a guide and the practice of nourishing life, Yang Sheng, and a healer leader from the Institute of Integral Chi Gong and Tai Chi. And why I invited her to the podcast is she's a guide of a body of work, nourishing and supporting clients, students and audiences called The Way of Yin. And it's TheWayofYin.com. It focuses on a graceful integration of our natural biological rhythms and the cycles of life via a TCM lens. Kris, thank you so much for being here. It's wonderful to see you as always,

Kris: Rahi, thank you so much for the invitation. I'm happy - really happy to be here.

Rahi: Thanks. So Chris, I wanted to start - I know some pieces of your background regarding your journey, like you've written and spoken about your grandmother and her influence on you. But I would love to hear, kind of what have been the pivotal influences and experiences that have shaped and inspired your journey that has become this, this birthing of The Way of Yin.

Kris: I love that birthing of The Way of Yin. So with birthing, of course there's like has to be this gestation period, right? So yeah. What is my story? I guess it has to start with my ancestors, of course. I think there's like this really visceral connection towards herbs and natural medicine. My mother's from South Korea and so of course, South Korea and China heavily influenced each other and so I grew up with my senses being really enriched by my environment. So herbs cooking in the kitchen, we're always like massage each other - yeah. And then, so I don't think early on, I really knew I wanted to be an acupuncturist. I want to be an herbalist. It really did come from almost life experience. I had a really major health challenge when I was 13. I was hospitalized. I got diagnosed with an autoimmune condition coming out of surgery. The doctors wanted to put me on like the whole gamut of medications and my mom was like, no, thank you. And we just went about it within a more holistic lens. And, so knock on wood.

Kris: I've never had surgeries since 13. And I think it really was a pivotal point where I started to kind of build this relationship with myself of this inner capacity to heal. As long as I kind of leaned into the wisdom of my body, leaned into the wisdom of cycles and rhythms. And the more that I kind of like resisted, that the more my body would communicate with me and ask to be with it. So when times of stress - major stress in my life happened, or, some turmoil or deep grief or sadness, I always felt this point in which my body was like calling me back to kind of sink into rhythms again, in order to heal. And, yeah, so then, probably in my early twenties, I felt the call the kind of need to explore, I guess my lineage a bit deeper.

Kris: How did my ancestors learn to heal themselves? And I always found that when I reached these points of major stress and there was the decision, like, should I go the Western route, or should I not? I was always called to maybe sit with, sit with that decision a little bit longer and see kind of more wisdom inside. And the more drastic measures that might be a little bit more immediate in relief, but would have, you know, consequences to that for the rest of my life versus, seeking wisdom from within and my lineage. And it might take a lot longer to do that, but it would meet my body and not be so jarring to my system, and it would have more longevity to it. Yeah, so I think my personal kind of healing journey, which is still continuing till this day, cause we're always healing, layers upon layers upon layers throughout our lifetime. Yeah, I think those kinds of things kind of led me into the direction and in really helping individuals learn about their own healing capacity, that just lives right within them.

Rahi: Wow, Kris, so it sounds like from a very young age, your teenage years, after that health crisis, it really guided you to develop this intimate relationship of listening to your body's natural rhythms and its wisdom rather than relying on outside sources and even in your decision-making, it sounds like you really sit with your body and listen for what its truth is.

Kris: Absolutely. Yeah. And it's been kind of an in and out conversation because there's always this questioning and being that young, you do seek outwards a lot for validation. Is this right? Is this not right? And so, I mean, that struggle happened for many, many years. But I just always found that emotions and how my body was handling stress, any kind of stress, cause I'm very permeable. I come to find out, I feel a lot from not only myself, but from the world and my, you know, my family, my community. And so I feel like I've learned about myself and my permeant type permeable type nature, and have learned to start building healthy boundaries. And, really listening into my body and learning about natural circadian rhythms, and menstruating rhythms for those of us that menstruate and all of those, those things we can, we can talk about it further, if you want...

Rahi: Well, I'm fascinated because I'm guessing along your journey of studying traditional Chinese medicine and really kind of the natural cycles and rhythms of our existence, that coincided and complimented. And I mean, I'm guessing it just made so much sense, given your practice of listening to the organic rhythm of your body to begin with. So it's like, how can we nourish and support that natural.

Kris: Yeah. And I think as humans, and maybe even on a cultural level, we're almost kind of taught to not trust those inner knowings and always pushed through, you know, pushed to the limits and not lean into the times of those negative type things of like rest and restoration, or if you know, anything other than complete joy or happiness, you know, sinking into the medicine of grief and anger and fear and all those kinds of negative emotions that we're not supposed to show or reveal, but it's very human.

Rahi: Yeah. Or even feel in some instances. I mean, I think we're ...the structure of our society is going at such a pace that sometimes we don't even allow ourselves to feel what our bodies are clearly asking us to feel and asking us to experience. So,

Kris: Yeah, and that's, that's one thing that I love about the medicine is that it acknowledges all of those parts of us. It acknowledges that our feelings and emotions have a direct effect on our Qi - the movement of Qi movement on our energy. Yeah,

Rahi: Absolutely. Absolutely. So one of the things that really struck me about the, so Kris was also a teacher of mine in her online course called the Jade Gate for Vaginal Ecology. And what struck me was exactly that, how, I mean, obviously TCM takes a holistic point of view to our wellbeing, including our emotions, stress levels, our diet, you know, environmental factors, relationship to the womb, all of those things. But you know, it really... the way you underscore how our vaginal ecology is a reflection of one's overall health and one's overall ecology. It's almost like this sacred, I dunno, it's like a sacred portal or a sacred map to identifying where else in your life there's an imbalance. Can you speak to how that is? How, I mean, it kind of, it kind of blows me away how that is the case.

Kris: Yeah. So I think another really amazing thing about the medicine is how it speaks to just how everything is so connected through micro and macrocosms. So in itself, acupuncture is just like this whole huge mirror system of how points on your body actually access and reflect organs in your body and also emotions and different kinds of spirits that exists within your body. Yeah. And so when we talk about, you know, your vaginal ecology being connected to your entire ecology, I think what I really wanted to emphasize is that it's so different from the paradigm that just separates everything and talks about things in total isolation as if they function in a sort of a vacuum - and it doesn't. So just the lining itself, your whole mucosal lining is a connected system. Your vaginal environment has a mucosal lining, your intestinal track, your urinary tract, all the way up to your nasal cavities and even your mouth.

Kris: And so the idea that these are not connected at all is - I think that's what's kind of silly to me to think that it's not connected. So I like to explain to individuals to view their bodies as like this entire ecosystem, like you are literally an ecosystem that interacts with many different ecosystems. And so your vaginal ecology is like this almost entryway like it has, as you explained it, a portal, just like our mouths, our nasal passages, our Vaginal environment, and also our digestive environment - they're almost like these ways kind of into the rest of the ecosystem. And so there's like an exiting and entering - it's a gate, it's the Jade gate. And yeah. And so the reason that's important is because when there's a gate, there's an opening to allow things to release, and there's a receiving to allow things to be received - into the entire ecosystem or out of the entire ecosystem. So it's a way to cleanse and clear, but it's also a way to receive and cultivate. Yeah.

Rahi: Yeah, and something else that struck me about what I learned in that course was, you know, things that I think kind of - we all don't really think about as effecting our vaginal ecology - you know, like excessive use of antibiotics, certainly hormone contraceptions, even, you know, like thong use or, you know, feminine products at the drug store, they all affect the bacterial environment.

Kris: Yes, absolutely. Yeah. And so this is one area that I get confused on with modern medicine is that they say that things are not connected, but written kind of in the warnings of antibiotics is like, Oh, you might get a yeast infection. So that's like admitting that there's some type of, you know, effect or connection there that when you take an antibiotic, it will affect your - not only your whole body ecology, but also your vaginal ecology at the same time.

Rahi: Yeah, I mean, not to mention your gut health, which affects your immune system so that if there is something going on, infection wise, it's gonna compromise that as well. Kris, I want to, you know, speaking of how everything's interconnected, online, you offer a free online course on the yin and yang of hormones, and it sounds like - which is a great course and such a generous offering. It sounds like the number one culprit or issue that you see amongst clients affecting their hormonal balance is the effect of stress. And I kind of wonder if it's an epidemic in our society where, you know, as we move into kind of that next seven-year cycle at 42, or even around 42, 43, I feel like our society rewards kind of successful career, whether it's corporate America or, you know, that's when a lot of people are getting into positions of huge responsibility. And yet it's when our kidneys really need replenishing and restoration. Can you speak to how listeners can maintain their active lifestyles, but also take care of these hormonal changes that are the natural rhythms of our bodies and as they change, especially around the early forties.

Kris: Yeah, absolutely. This is like my, and I've been really kind of drawn to teaching around this area that we're talking about right now, because as you say, we do live in a culture that does not recognize the cyclical nature. It's very linear. And so I think what has happened is through the fight of equality, we kind of almost put ourselves into these linear boxes and have almost denied or repressed our actual cyclical nature. We go through monthly cycles and it's undeniable, it happens and you can recognize it. We bleed monthly. We ovulate monthly. And so there are really clear indications that our body calls for times of activity and productivity, but also times of deep rest and restoration. And so I think it's almost like we could do both, but how can we almost nurture and build a culture in society that honors the cyclical body?

Kris: There's a way to be productive and also nurturing at the same time when we kind of build in structures for ourselves to recognize the times that our bodies are strong and need activity and thrive on being a little bit more extroverted and out in the world, but also recognize that when we are bleeding or nearing our bleed, our bodies are literally going through a hormonal drop, but we're taught to push through that. We're taught to ignore that, to hide that, not to say you have to stop everything,, but there's like this shift that happens to where your body is calling for a bit more in time to, you know, prioritize things, of course, to, you know, function through your days that you're bleeding, but to also just deeply replenish the actual loss. This is Jing loss, and we haven't talked on that yet, but Jing is your essence.

Kris: It's almost like your reserves, your savings account towards longevity. And for those of us that bleed, we have these key opportunities to really wreak havoc on our constitutions or enhance our vitality. And so when we kind of recognize that we are cyclical beings, this is within our nature within our physiology and anatomy, we don't have to like pick either, or we can, we can work with both. We can exist in this kind of linear state, but also kind of lean into the wisdom of our bodies and just make little accommodations to ensure that we're not depleting our Jing or not kind of pulling from our savings account, because that's the stuff that we're gonna live on for the rest of our life. Yeah, but we don't, we're not taught that. We're just kind of taught, like you have endless amounts of energy, just go and push through and use it all now. And it's like, you know, your parents' wisdom when they say to save to save money, you know, for the future,, it's kinda the same thing. Yeah.

Rahi: So then that if one is not attuned to the natural rhythms of when their body is asking for and seeking restoration, rather than, you know, forcing deadlines and kind of pushing through it, there's going to be that estrogen dominance as the progesterone really kind of gets compromised.

Kris: Yeah. So your body is the best communicator. It will give you signs. It will just go along its way because it's way is to cycle - to cycle through. But if we're resisting that, your body will give you signs, it'll let you know, through discomfort, stagnation, mood changes, temperature changes. It'll, let you know for sure. Yeah. So I feel like stress is unavoidable. Like everybody is always going to have stress in their lives. It's really about how you dance with it and how your body kind of handles it.

Rahi: Sure, sure. So again, really listening to the wisdom of the body and listening for what it needs and any kind of signs of, you know, physical pain, you know, cramp like whatever the pain signs are, it's the body communicating, you know, that it needs something that it needs something to change. Really, Kris, I have a question and that is, you know, when it comes to perimenopause and menopause and the body stops producing the estrogen and progesterone with the cycle changing. Is it always ness? Do you always like, does that always need to be supplemented by outside sources like herbs or is there actually enough of a reserve and it's a matter of kind of nourishing and facilitating that reserve to make sure that there's you know, for example, proper lubrication and, and healthy, healthy tissue vibrancy.

Kris: Yeah, so I think with this question, it really kind of depends on if a person needs the intervention of herbs and herbal allies or lifestyle changes or nutritional, I guess the assistance or catering of nutrition - it really depends on how you kind of show up to the door of peri-menopause and you don't need those things. Ideally you kind of cycle through these life cycles with, of course you're going to feel different because you're actually shifting wheels, you're shedding the old and rebirthing into a new cycle. There are going to be shifts and changes. It's not going to be like, you know, like magic. I think with each my cycle, it is like, kind of like this Rite of passage because parts of you die and you come into this new part of your life, renewed. So you don't necessarily need the aid of herbs. You don't need the aid of, you know, acupuncture and all these kind of outside things. I think what you actually need is just an understanding and a context of what's actually happening so that if you possibly want to seek some allies, you could do that to help yourself kind of unraveled through. But I don't think that it's necessary if you really kind of truly understand the context of what's actually happening. So when you come through the doors of peri-menopause and then eventually into menopause, essentially what your body is doing is it's switching gears into more reservation because reproduction is not a sustainable state.

Kris: If we reproduced all the way into our sixties and seventies, that is so much Jing loss. And so essentially when we shift wheels into perimenopause and menopause, that's our, the way of our body, shifting into more longevity, it's actually trying to extend our life, even though in the midst of it, it feels like it's not doing that. Oh, no, I'm aging faster or whatever it is, but that's the unraveling part. That's the, I mean, just imagine the immense amount of alchemy needed for something to go from one state to the next reproduction, to not reproductive. That's huge. Those are two really different things. And so perimenopause is just that journey of those small shifts and changes. And we realize that our ovaries are kind of slowing down a bit. It's not going to be this the forever source of our Chi and blood.

Kris: So it's kind of just slowing down a bit and the dependence will kind of come from your kidneys, your Jing, your, savings account. It kind of shifts wheels on where it depends where the body depends on where the energy is coming from. So for a long time at ears, it's coming from the ovaries and our uterus or womb. But those are not inert. Once we go into perimenopause or menopause, our bodies are not going to use these organs for, kind of like Qi and, Jing and blood production, but they do hold a lot of energy. So this is where we can kind of further cultivate, kind of honing into these kinds of root organs. So they're not like never functional anymore. They're there for a reason. Um, yeah, I'm kind of going off on.

Rahi: No, that's great. That's great. Because you know, like in concert with what you're sharing, we can cultivate that natural reserve within, particularly, I mean, I think, I think we've both been exposed to these ancient Taoist pratices, like, like self-breast massage, like the Jade egg practice, which all, you know, serve to nourish and circulate that Jing Chi. So that we don't so that we can show up at the door and have ample reserve or start to really, you know, nourish those reserves. And I should say for men, you know, there are great practices, like self- testicular massage, and the microcosmic orbit and scrotal stretch, just to make sure that the energy is vibrant and that the kidneys are not depleted, but quite the contrary, you're always - there's always an attention to kind of the altar of your Jing.

Kris: Yeah. Living a Jing-centered life.

Rahi: Living a Jing-centered life. Yeah. No, I love it. I love it.

Kris: Yeah, I feel like if we learned from that kind of context in that, like how precious it actually is, then we'll do, you know, everything to protect it and to nourish it and reserve it. So if menstruators learn from an early age that this is your heavenly water, your menstrual blood is your heavenly water, and it's precious, and it's a vital sign. It's a key into how your health is doing. And so if there are pockets of times where you're bleeding heavily for weeks on end and your doctor is saying, Oh, don't worry about it. Um, this is your Jing, so seek out the help of an herbalist or an acupuncturist, because they're going to know and see that context of - well, no, we need to actually see if we can STEM that flow because this is yourJing. Um, yeah,

Rahi: Yeah. It's our essence. So this brings me to a question where I'm curious, how you, what your experience has been in working with Western, OB GYN and where there, because I feel like, I mean, I've had clients, who've had, you know, excessive bleeding and their doctors will recommend a hysterectomy when we know it can be, you know, it is you're Jing essence, and we know these vital reproductive organs, you know, on so many levels, you know, provide a spiritual presence in our bodies. And so where in your experience with working with Western doctors, where have there been complimentary kind of experiences for the client and where have there been kind of like misalignments?

Kris: Yeah, so I really honor modern medicine for emergency and for really kind of life and death type situations. So I, and because that's what it's amazing at. So I honor Western and modern medicine for that amazing ability. I think where it's not so complimentary is when individuals are seeking more preventative, like how can I actually approach my health in a more preventative and involved way. And I think that's where possibly Western medicine or modern medicine lacks, they're a very kind of reactionary type of modality where I think, TCM and a lot of holistic modalities are about preventing those catastrophic types of things from happening in the first place.

Rahi: Yeah. I totally hear that. And at the same time, Kris, I feel like, I mean, you know, just from vaginal steaming, I've seen different health situations be, you know, kind of far along in their imbalance and be really restored naturally through steaming and they're such humble practices. It's such a humble, simple, effective, and definitely cost-effective practice. I mean, it's like three bucks a steam, right. And so... I was interviewing Kelly the other day and she was sharing how, like essentially a OB GYN cannot advocate or, approve or encourage a practice that's not within their medical realm of what they learned, because there are liability concerns. And I'm thinking, well, you know, 30 years ago, Acupuncture was probably seen in a different light than how it's accepted now. And you've probably seen a shift in, I mean, I'm guessing in the years that you've been practicing from Western doctors and accepting, and, it's like such verifiable evidence. Like you can't deny the benefits of TCM and Acupuncture, and the powerful, powerful, effective herbs and restoring the body's balance.

Kris: Yeah. I feel like there is a shift happening because the people are asking for more, they're asking for more, education really. I think there's a huge gap in how we actually approach our wellness. How can we be healthy? And I think their education doesn't really kind of dive into to that, to lifestyle, to nutrition. I read this crazy paper about how I gynecologist said that nutrition has nothing to do with hormones. Like those two things don't even add up together. And that boggles my mind. How can like the food, the information you're feeding into your body have nothing to do with hormones. And so that's kind of like what you're essentially working against because, many people trust their doctors, many people trust, research, modern research. And so with the vaginal seeming, if it's not research, they can't recommend it even though it's safe and cost-effective and effective.

Kris: Um, yeah. So I think we, I think that the people are, there's so many seekers because I think we've reached a point to where lots of individuals can actually tell their stories and how modern medicine has failed them, because they're looking to modern medicine to, to kind of, treat conditions that could have been prevented beforehand. And so modern medicine is more reactive there. They're like, well, I can put you on this drug that may or may not work. I can prescribe you birth control pills, which is not really for regulating your cycles it's to control birth for a whole blanket of kind of conditions that birth control pills are not really for. yeah. So I think their approaches are very limited in what they research as far as like reaction to somebody's health crisis versus like taking a step back or even a global view on a person how's your mental health? How are you doing emotionally? How is your socioeconomic state, do you have support? I mean, all of these things matter in a person's health and wellbeing, but they're not asking these questions.

Rahi: Yeah. And all of those things are going to affect one's womb health, you know, how the womb feels and their embodiment of their womb, how they're, how they're connected to their womb.

Kris: Yeah. So the womb in itself is a container it holds, and this is one place in a female body that things can get stagnant and stuck from pent up emotions to, you know, just everyday stresses, blockages in the body somehow kind of collect in places that are collectors or someplace of holding in the womb is a place of holding.

Rahi: Yeah. So, you know, this podcast is all about ways of restoring, reclaiming and realizing our natural sexual health and wellbeing. And I feel like, just what you spoke to - it also reflects how our sexual health is an indicator of our overall health - given that the womb does hold and is affected by our emotional well-being, our psychological wellbeing are, you know, how safe we feel, you know, socio-economically and, you know, it's all going to affect, our embodiment and the vibrancy, you know, both on a Jing level and on a pleasure level.

Kris: Absolutely. Yeah. I like to talk about how, you know, we're not taught this, but there's like this direct channel from the heart to the womb. It's the heart-womb connection. And the heart is the place where our spirit lives, our spirit lives in the blood, and then our heart is, you know, part of our circulatory system. So then that spirit gets circulated everywhere even beyond ourselves. And there is a direct Meridian that connects the heart to the womb. And so there's many kind of ancient passages and Chinese health culture texts, where they talk about, you know, emotions or things that affect the heart will affect the wombs. So there's all kinds of passages about, you know, somebody's heartbreaks and their menstruation stops are they'll, have like this fright and then bleed heavily, or just, you know, those types of things where they actually recognize the connection between our emotional, mental, spiritual wellbeing.

Rahi: Yeah. Direct connection. Yeah. Um, Kris, The Three Golden Opportunities, is that an online course or is that..

Kris: It's a blog post actually. So it talks about, as menstruators, how we have these three key opportunities, the golden opportunities, to really pay attention to our Jing. Um, so it's of course menstruation, because we lose a little bit of Jing every single month during our menstruating years. And, postpartum is actually one of our greatest Jing losses. And so that's why they really emphasize, or we really emphasize the deep, deep care that goes into postpartum care, you know, after birth and, you know, they call it sitting moon. Um, yeah. And so, you know, ayurvedic recognizes ayurvedic medicine recognizes it too. It's 42 days of rest and restoration for 42 years. So they recognize that the more you care for mothers after birth for deep healing replenishment, it has lifetime effects on that. Yeah. And then perimenopause being the third golden opportunity.

Rahi: I love how it's phrased as golden opportunities because they are, they're like windows of just incredible you know, your choices during these windows will affect your health, the rest of your life. And so they really are golden opportunities to ensure that your Jing is restored replenished. And so your savings account, as you say, will be full for the rest of your life. Yeah. Kris, thank you so much for joining us today. It's always a pleasure to see you. It's always just a delight to know that you're on our planet doing, doing what you're doing and being who you are.

Kris: Thank you so much. Thank you for the invitation, just beautiful conversation, and the important conversations is so important.

Rahi: How is the Jing, the Qi essence, feeling in your body right now, As you tune into your Jing essence, is there a place on your body that your hands feel called to touch, support and nourish? And when you do, notice how this feels for your body to receive and replenish itself with your hands, your attention and your heart. In our next episode, we explore a Taoist perspective to reproductive health and ways to restore stagnant Qi and blood flow with Coocky Tassanee Bonsoom, founder of the Loi Kroh Traditional Thai Massage School. and one of the world's most experienced practitioners and teachers in the Taoist art of Nuad Karsai - also called Karsai Nei Tsang, inner genital organ massage. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, share with your tribe or leave a review. You can also download the free organic sexuality [email protected]. Until next time, take good care.