Rahi: Welcome to Organic Sexuality, where we explore the restoration of pleasure, the reclamation of sexual sovereignty and the realization of our embodied sexual nature: an invitation to honor the pleasures of your body by embodying the pleasures of your nature. I'm your host, Rahi Chun. I'm a certified somatic sex educator, sexological bodyworker and creator of Somatic Sexual Wholeness.

Rahi: Today we invite Lorraine Pentalow to the podcast whose areas of expertise includes resolving chronic pelvic pain, scar tissue remediation, and erection and ejaculation experiences for penis owners. Having resolved her own chronic pelvic pain by applying the holistic approach of the four domains of health. Lorraine is intimately familiar with both the issues and what is required for their successful resolution. As she details for us here, in addition to sharing her experiences of how to support erection and ejaculatory issues to resolve at the end of the podcast, she also guides us through a beautiful somatic contemplation for becoming more attuned with the detailed musculature of the pelvic floor.

Rahi: Well, I'm delighted to invite, Lorraine, my friend, colleague, and fellow sexological bodyworker and somatic sex educator back to the podcast for another round. So Lorraine and I met in the scar tissue remediation and management training, a couple of years ago, and she's a fellow somatic sex educator who's based in Australia. Um, and we've just been in touch ever since we've had kind of peer supervision calls. We've belonged to the same study group over the years with continuing to deepen our understanding of scar tissue, remediation and management. And it's a joy to welcome her to the podcast. Um, and I want to start by, I think I shared this before Lorraine, but I really wanted to have as many hands-on practitioners as guests because we see a whole range of different somatic issues - issues that show up in people's sexualities. And I feel like what we get to see what we are so privileged and I'm honored to hold space for, are things that the general public should know about because there are a lot of folks who are carrying around, unintegrated emotions, unresolved experiences, whether it's in their pelvic floor or anywhere in the body involving their sexuality, that's keeping them from really fully embodying their sexuality. And so, yeah, I wanted to hear, I want, I want sex bods to share our experiences of those. So the general public can know as well.

Rahi: So, I would love to invite you Lorraine, to share with us your journey, specifically, what were some of the influential experiences that led your path to becoming a somatic sex educator and doing this work?

Lorraine: Thank you for asking Rahi and it's, it's lovely to be here with you today. One of the things that was resonating with me when you were speaking before is, one thing that I found really difficult was having pelvic pain and going to doctors and them telling me that there's nothing wrong with me or it's all in my head, or they don't know what's wrong with me. It's even frightening then. There's nothing wrong with you. Um, and my pelvic pain was one of the reasons that led me into doing somatic work. It started to become obvious to me about 10 years ago while I was, working in strip clubs. And I've been in the sex industry for almost 23 years now and started off in entertainment and then slowly moved into embodied sexual coaching, which I absolutely love. And there were two reasons that I started to make this shift.

Lorraine: One of them was this chronic pain that I was feeling in my pelvis, which like I said, that the doctors didn't know what was wrong with me. And my body worker at the time, my myofascial bodyworker was saying, it's your work. It's the way that you're moving your body is causing this pain. So I knew that I couldn't stay in that industry for much longer.One of the things that I really loved as well as the dancing side and the connecting with people was sitting with people and listening to their stories and helping them feel good about themselves. That was one of the things I really loved about that industry. Especially working with people who had experienced trauma. I spent quite a few years working with people who had just come back from mall -, soldiers who had really struggled with trauma and PTSD overseas and were having a hard time integrating back into society.

Lorraine: The only thing that they found was soothing for them was going to a strip club, buying a bottle of champagne, going in the VIP room and sitting and telling their stories. And I thought that there's more I can do here. Um, and my pelvic pain as well was driving me out of the clubs and searching for something new. So those two things together were really what brought me into this work. I started tinkering around as a, as a client myself, like receiving bodywork sessions, going to workshops, learning about embodied sexuality and doing these things for myself. But one of the things I noticed is as I started to take these methods into my current profession, which was working in strip clubs and lap dancing rooms, that was a transformation that was happening in the way that I could work with people. And that I could do a lot more than just to sit and listen to someone's story and show them my boobs.

Rahi: Hm Hm. You know, it strikes me Lorraine that you were always interested in people's stories and resolving or supporting the resolution of, I mean, it sounds like a lot of your clients were military who had PTSD and I'm guessing that for a lot of them, it was the touch, the contact, you know, being seen, feeling seen, feeling heard, and having their stories told and the compassionate space that you hold in your listening that was medicine. So it sounds like that was a factor, which, you know, which we, we hold space for all the time now and hearing people's stories and really understanding where the roots of them may come from, but also your own pelvic pain.

Lorraine: Yeah, it was a beautiful side effect of learning. This work was the resolution of my own pelvic pain. At the time when I started studying it was chronic, it was really, really painful. Um, and one of the really interesting things that I learned was that the pain that I felt when I was moving my pelvis, and sometimes it would be the pain that I felt just walking around after a really strenuous night of work. Like I could barely sit, I could barely walk. I couldn't keep still. And also the pain that I would feel during certain sexual positions with certain sexual partners and also the difficulty that I would have with digestion were all linked together. And I didn't understand this. I thought they were all separate issues. And that through the work of Dr. Ellen Heed that we both studied with, Ellen, I learned that these things are all connected and they all see each other in this holistic way. And the way that we resolve this pain is by using all of these different holistic methods to tease apart the scar tissue and work through the emotional wounding that is held inside these scar tissues as well in our bodies.

Rahi: Yeah. You know, I feel like I cannot underscore that enough, that it really is the unprocessed or unresolved emotional material that the body is really asking attention. It's almost like the scar tissue is holding that emotional material to ask the body owner to take a look at it. Help us if you can, share what your process was after meeting with Ellen, you had seen a number of different medical professionals who all kind of like threw their arms up. Um, you know, if you can speak to what was different about what you experienced with Ellen's approach and how did you go about addressing, the resolution of that pain?

Lorraine: Mm, well, Ellen just made it so accessible. She knew straight away what was happening for me and understood from her own lived experience. I believe that what was going on in my pelvis,, in a way that the doctors, they, they doctors do wonderful things. I don't want to discredit doctors. They do absolutely incredible things. Um, but they couldn't do anything for me. They didn't know what was wrong. And there's a lot of ideas thrown around, you know, could it be ovarian cancer? Could it be, a bacterial infection that we don't know how to treat or all these different things were thrown around. And it was very frightening. And they have, I did a workshop with Ellen right at the start of my training, cause sexological bodywork where she put her hands on me and she could feel this huge lump of scar tissue that was sitting behind my left ovary.

Lorraine: And as she placed her hands on me, she was describing all the different layers of tissues that this scar was interacting with. It was connecting with my colon, my sigmoid colon. It was interacting with various ligaments and muscles and squeezing all these different tissues together. And then it just became really obvious to me that, of course, I'm going to be constipated if there's a, but I'm going to demonstrate on my sleeve here. If you, if you have a squeezing in the bowel, then what is in the bowel is going to struggle to move through the bowel. If you have a tugging on ovary, you have a tugging on the ligament of the ovary. You have a tugging on the uterus. So during menstruation, this is another thing I didn't even mention before. Very, very painful, heavy menstruation is also a factor of this scar tissue presentation as well as movement.

Lorraine: And during intercourse those times when I felt very severe pain and the way that I could describe the pain is I had this image in my head of someone playing snooker with my, um, organs. That's the feeling that I felt in my body. It was the radiating pain that would just hit and go all the way down into my leg. And right down to my foot on the left side, it was excruciating, and understanding how all these things were linked. So from that, the first step for me was to change my diet and to try and balance that my beneficial bacteria in my guts and how I did that was through an antiinflammatory diet called GAPS. If you sort of take it down to its, its main elements, it's eating clean, it's trying to eat as much organic food as you can. It's trying to bring good bacteria into the diets, such as sauerkraut and Casio, which is a beautiful yogurt. Um, that's a lot more liquid than, than regular yogurt. And also

Rahi: So Lorraine, before you continue, I just want to let listeners know that you're starting to describe the four domains and starting with the biochemical aspect of the four domains because the scar tissue will not only proliferate, but not get resolved in an environment that causes inflammation and where the blood is not clean. And when there, where there are toxins. So the four domains, the biochemical, biomechanical, emotions, and scar tissue. You started the GAPS diet, which is really addressing the biochemical aspect.

Lorraine: Yeah, it's a beautiful way of looking at it. The four domains, it makes it makes it easier to, to sort of see the bigger picture. The other thing about the gaps diet is that we remove all of the things that are gonna feed the bacteria that we don't want in that. We take out sugar, we take out complex carbohydrates and starches. So we starve out the bacteria we don't want, and we re-introduce them. We feed the bacteria that we do want with lots of fresh vegetables that are not starchy and plenty of bone broth, which is bones that are boiled with a little bit of Apple cider vinegar and salt. And what the bone breath does is it helps to repair the lining of the intestines. And that really helps with inflammation. And it really helps with helping to stop the scar tissue from getting worse and also to help with healthy bowel movements as well. Because if it's in the pelvis, the scar tissue, we're going to want the bowel movements to be as healthy as possible because they're already struggling to get through there. We don't want the really, really hard and difficult to pass.

Rahi: Sure. I mean, we're also wanting a clean system, so any toxins can be flushed out, and it, we're also not only creating an environment that can, uh, that doesn't proliferate the inflammatory effects that affect scar tissue, but also making sure the blood is clean so that can further help break down the scar tissue.

Lorraine: And then moving into the scar tissue element of breaking down the scar tissue is really important. Um, there's things that we can do at home that I encourage my clients to do at home, such as castor packs, castor packs are incredible. Um, and they're quite simple how they work is we get some organic hexane free castor oil, and it's important that it's organic and hexane free. It's usually cold pressed. That's the kind of castor oil that I use. Um, and we get some cotton slander. It could be cotton flannel, but the important thing about the flannel again is that there's no toxins in that. So getting unbleached undyed organic fabric, when we soak the castor oil into the fabric and place it directly on the skin, usually with a heat source, like a hot water bottle, and we can keep it on that from anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour - after an hour, it's not going to really do much after that, but anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour is really beneficial.

Lorraine: And the best way to do that is every day for 21 days. But the thing to remember when doing that is that the scar tissue is going to be breaking down in the body. And it might have a little bit of an effect on the body that's going to tire it out. It might make us feel like we're a little bit run down for a few days as the body processes, all that scar tissue. So it's good to do some detoxing things like going to a sauna or having an Epsom salt bath or doing a coffee enema. If that's something that the people are comfortable with. I quite love the coffee enemas. They're, they're incredible for clearing up. Anything out of the system is just straight away from feeling better.

Rahi: Yeah. The coffee enemas are really healthy for your liver. And to me, it just feels like after I do, and I feel like I got a full night asleep, they're just so invigorating. But more importantly, they really support the cleaning out the liver to make sure that the blood it gets cleaner so that the blood that circulates in your system is really fresh and healthy. So castor oil packs - you know, it's got such a long history, it goes all the way back to how Egyptians used to use the healing effects from the properties of the castor seed. Um, they're really also wonderful for detoxifying your liver, for women who have, fertility issues, you can clear out, uh, increase the blood flow and clear the lymph flow and your reproductive center for healthier periods. There there's so many purposes for it, but resolving scar tissue, you know, it's probably, you know, just one of the best and most effective ways to resolve scar tissue. So Lorraine, you did that, you did a 21 day process whilst you were on the gaps,diet, cleaning out any toxins from your gut. What else were you doing during that time?

Lorraine: Remedial bodywork was amazing. So this is something that we can do on ourselves if we don't have a practitioner or we haven't got access to practitioner. So this involves I'll demonstrate on my arm with the castor oil, usually just feeling in and finding anywhere that feels a little bit brusey or painful and giving it a good massage. We can do a pinch and roll effect on the skin like that. And usually if there's a scar that's underneath the skin and you pinch and you're rolling, you can usually feel whether the tendrils are underneath the skin, because what happens with the scar as you, probably as listeners probably seen from scars that they've received on the outside of their skin, from injuries that the scar doesn't just usually stop. It grows a little bit, as you can see with some keyloid Scars, as it grows up, kind of grows out and sometimes the process can continue underneath the skin and these long fibers grow down.

Lorraine: And that's what causes a lot of the pain. What Ellen found in me was these long tendrils that were moving all the way through my pelvis and connecting structures together, almost like tendons and ligaments that shouldn't really have been connected together, but weren't in mind genetics to be connected together. But they were connected through the scar tissue. So what this massage does is it to break down manually mechanically the scar tissue that's inside the body. And this can be done internally as well through the vagina and also through the anus - working inside finding those brusey areas and working for a little while, not working until it's excruciatingly painful. We don't want to go too hard or too fast on these areas. So maybe doing 20 minutes maximum of body work, or if it starts to feel a little bit achy, a little bit too achy stopping, they're not doing too much. It's better to do too little than too much to start with - until we really get used to what our body's telling us.

Rahi: They're also speaking to what kind of emotions may get touched into - that may have caused that scar tissue to begin with. So moving gradually, and at a pace that the body and the person feels comfortable moving towards. So you're now talking about the biomechanical aspect of the actual structure, you know, what you're speaking to as far as the scar tissue and it can prevent mobility of internal organs. It can get in the way of the natural alignment of the posture of your organs within your body. So you were doing the biomechanical quadrant as well. And how were you working with your emotions?

Lorraine: Can I just add with the biomechanical quadrant right here, the way that I was moving my body through the world as well, that that needed to change in order for me to resolve the issues that were coming up in my scar tissue presentation. Sleeping, for example, sleeping with one knee curled up and the other, like straight my left knee curled up in a very fetal position that was accentuating these connections and squeezing things together, walking around with very big heels was shortening my spine and adding to that sort of tenderness, ligamentous scar tissue in there, because it was carrying the weight of those with the way that I was moving my body through the world and doing all these strenuous and acrobatic pole moves, which looked very impressive on stage. But looking inside my body didn't look very impressive at all. They were contributing to my pain presentation, so learning how to move my body in a way that wasn't aggravating and, accentuating these holding patterns. And you're moving to the emotional aspect - one of the most incredible things that I learned in my sexological bodywork training was consent and boundaries.

Lorraine: That was something that my body really enjoyed. It was hard to cognitively get my head around it outside of a work place environment. So during the work in the workplace, I was incredible with my boundaries and consent. I had this whole list of things that was given to me by the different clubs that I worked in, and also by my own personal boundaries of what I was happy to do and not to do at work. And then outside of work, I was a yes person. I would just say yes, because I didn't want to hurt someone's feelings, I would say yes, not knowing that it was really a no inside my body. So learning how to be embodied and feel the yeses and the no's or the, I don't know, as coming up was just amazing and how those emotions affected my pelvic floor muscles.

Lorraine: So if I was saying, yes, and my pelvic floor was saying, no, especially during sex, then I was coming up against a wall of an actual physical wall on my pelvic floor. That was, that was tightening up. And every time I would have sex, when it was a no my body was saying, yes, my body would close up. And with my pelvic floor tissue hardening against the pressure of incoming penises, fingers and whatnot, that's also causing an injury and inflammation that was adding to the scar tissue presentation. So working through not only the consent and boundaries learning when it was a full, authentic, yes. All the way through my body and noticing the difference and how different that felt engaging in sexual practices once it was a full embodied Yes. And also learning how to know when my body was ready, even if I felt aroused, psychologically and physically understanding when the tissues of my body were actually aroused and engorged and ready to engage in sexual practice was also incredible.

Rahi: Okay. So it sounds like there, I mean, it sounds like before there may have been an awareness of what your body wanted, but now you are connecting your voice and really advocating for your own boundaries and consent, really advocating for your boundaries rather than just feeling what it is that your body wanted.

Lorraine: Yeah. But knowing, yeah. Knowing what my body wanted, as well as being able to communicate. And that takes a lot of work

Rahi: Well, I mean, for a lot of us that had our boundaries breached as children, it can be a first time education, you know, as adults learning how to not only listen for what the body's authentic desire is, but giving voice to it. But it sounds like your body and its real intelligence literally, was creating a wall towards what it no longer wanted in the form of the scar tissue around your left overy, right?

Lorraine: Yeah, yeah. It no longer wanted the sexual contact. It no longer wanted the sugary foods, no longer wanted the pole dancing. And it was telling me that those things were, there were a caravan, but they're not okay now. And that's what my body was saying. Or maybe they weren't okay then. And I just thought that they were that's the thing. Um, and, and also in working through the emotional aspect of scar tissue, when those layers start to peel away and the body starts to soften and move, there's a whole process of somatic memory coming up. And then what do we do with these somatic memories that we have that might not be very pleasant? Um, taking them to a trauma therapist is the next step. And I believe that if we don't work through traumatic memories that are somatic memories that come up, then the scar tissue may still continue to proliferate, even if we do all the other things. It's a holistic process of bringing all these elements together and it's different for every person, depending on the way that they move through the world, what they're putting into their body in regards to food and sexual expression as well.

Rahi: Yes. But what you're speaking to I think is really, really profound, which is that as the scar tissue was dissolving, it was really releasing the emotions that yeah. That it was, it was pent up and holding on to. And so to have that safe space, whether it's a therapist, a trauma therapist, a practitioner, you know, a therapy group, some safe space to really feel into feel safe enough to feel those emotions and really face them in order to have them gracefully integrate and release. You know, I feel like our clienteles are very kind of mirrored in that, correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me like your, most of your clients are penis owners and most of my clients are vulva owners. So I would love for our audience to get a sense of what kinds of issues you mostly hold space for.

Lorraine: Ah scar tissue is a big one in all genders. I work with scar tissue and pelvic pain. I also work a lot with erection issues. That is huge for me.

Rahi: So with erection challenges for your penis owner, owning clients, do you go through the four domains and what do you find that there are, I mean, you know, each client is really a snowflake and being so unique with their history and their physiology, all of it. But I'm wondering for listeners who may also be experiencing erection challenges, what have you found to be some things, some things that kind of like everyone should know

Lorraine: Hmm. Well with, like you say, everybody's different, but it generally tends to sit in the emotional quadrant and also the biomechanical. So the biomechanical being the habits that people have. So they're generally masturbating very quickly. So they get it over and done with before someone catches them. It's probably a pattern that's been there in their younger years. So they get in a habit of quickly. And then when it comes to having partners that they're quickly, cause that's what they've learned, how to do. There's also an emotional aspect that comes into. It could be that they're getting frightened when that engaging in sexual activity, because they know that they had to ejaculate quicker than what they want to, they get frightened and then they evacuate quickly, because there's a huge emotional component behind as well. Um, working through the emotional issues and working through the, biomechanical issues with it's practice, it's teaching someone that they can prolong their and teaching them through methods, such as breathing techniques, learning how to feel their body, and what's happening inside their body. And edging - edging is a great one, getting right to the point just before and then learning how to slow it down.

Rahi: Yeah. You know, it's the irony of what you're sharing is that the pressure that people, that those who have these challenges are experiencing, it's like the pressure is upregulating their nervous systems, which is making this situation worse. Yeah. And it's taking them away from being with their sensations and being in their bodies. So it sounds like you're really holding the space to introduce them, to practices, to down-regulate their nervous system, to be with their body sensations and to expand the terrains - the realms of pleasure before going over the edge

Lorraine: With erections,, it is a lot more complicated. Um, and the term erectile dysfunction, a lot of people tend to think that that is some kind of disease when really it is a symptom of many other things that could be going on. Um, one of the first things that I encourage prospective clients to do, if they have erection issues is to go and see their GP. Because if it's the biochemical aspect, then there's likely to be some condition behind that presentation that could be, life-threatening such as diabetes, heart problems. The cardiovascular system is what is creating the erection. And if blood isn't getting into the penis for a medical reason, then that needs to be worked through with the GP with dietician. Um, that's not really my area of expertise, but if the doctor says there's nothing wrong with you - it's all in your head.

Lorraine: Or the other thing that I've encountered is because of this disease that you've had and recovered from, you're never going to get an erection again, that one, that is like a self fulfilling prophecy. I've worked with people who have been told by doctors that they would never get an erection again. And in some cases that's true. If they take out the equipment that is bringing the erection, but bringing the blood into the penis, then they won't be able to get an erection if they don't have the nerves and the blast, the vascularization to bring the blood in there. But if it's, for some other reasons, such as scar tissue, then there is quite a lot that we can do in a bodywork session to help bring that erection back in. And the other thing I want to mention as well is learning how to feel pleasure, whether there's an erection present or not.

Lorraine: And taking in the emotional quadrant are the presentation they're working through that emotion sometimes can help bring the erection and taking away the pressure to have an erection by learning new methods of feeling pleasure of being able to have, in some cases that they didn't even think that they could have, like it's possible to with a penis that isn't erect. Um, it's, it's incredible. And once people put aside the pressure and learn these new methods, sometimes an erection just can magically appear once the emotional aspect is worked through, sort of like if you're listening, you can imagine there is a tiger chasing them. They're not gonna be wanting an erection or the adjuster. They're going to be wanting that blood in their limbs so they can run away and they can fight if they need to. But when there isn't this hypothetical tiger chasing them, they, you know, you're never going to get an erection tiger sometimes just comes with tapping.

Lorraine: That's been an excellent method to work through with some people, those emotional issues of there might be a relationship problem. It might just be when their doctor told them that they would never get an erection again, that fear that they felt and tapping through those emotions while receiving touch at the same time has had some incredible, incredible effects in session - and moving to the scar tissue quadrant. Sometimes when people have procedures on their prostate or they have procedures on that penis or anywhere in the pelvis, and they believe that this is going to lead to them, not being able to have an erection feeling into that scar tissue and doing some palpation on that scar tissue, whether it's intra-anally, whether it's in the abdomen can really help with bringing blood flow into the penis. I've seen some incredible, incredible erections that neither of us were expecting when we've been working through that scar tissue. Sometimes if there's been an operation prior, such as a gallbladder removal or an appendectomy, and there's scar tissue that has built up in the abdominal area that is blocking that blood flow straight down from the heart, through the aorta and down into the pelvis, working through scar tissue that can sometimes create an instantaneous erection. And it's just, it's just incredible to watch. And this surprise on people's faces when they feel this direction coming through, it's just magical.

Rahi: So there's many important points to underscore in what you've shared. Certainly the blood flow is really, really primary, but you know, one of the first things you shared Lorraine is how debilitating medical advice, kind of a, it's almost like a medical sentence. It sounds like some of your clients have received that prove to be untrue and that, you know, I mean, it is so psychological that it's kind of shocking that a medical professional would not be sensitive to kind of, giving someone a sentence that they wouldn't have an erection when in fact they, they can. But yeah, the emotional, I mean, I guess it's the, yeah, that is the emotional aspect. I mean, you spoke about the pressure and how the pressure, can be like a tiger chasing them and what that does to the blood in the body. I've known of clients who, you know,, where it is deeply emotional, where there's a situation like someone had an abusive father where their masculinity is symbolized in an erect penis and they, for the life of them would never want to embody or be reminded of that kind of abusive power. And so, that power is represented in their erection. I want to ask you, yeah, go ahead.

Lorraine: I was gonna say how in embodied sexuality can sort of spill out into other areas of people's lives as well. Like I've noticed that some of my clients, they get more confident when they're learning these techniques and learning embodiment. We can use it not only in sexuality, but we can use it in all areas of our lives to improve our relationships with our loved ones and our work colleagues.

Rahi: Well, yeah, you're speaking to really inviting people to take ownership of their sexuality and that's going to change everything. I mean, from what I've seen, it just, it can change everything, all aspects of one's Self and one's life. And yeah, I feel like the way we embody ourselves, I mean, it, it carries into really every aspect of our lives. Um, certainly inviting and feeling safe in embodying pleasure, goodness, you know, energy that can translate in our professional lives and our personal lives and all sorts of ways. I want to ask you,, if there are any practices, somatic practices that can nourish one's sexual embodiment that you would like to offer for our listeners today.

Lorraine: Oh, thank you. Right here. I'd love to share a pelvic floor exercise that I teach the majority of my clients when they come to see me - usually in the first session and there are varying degrees to people's immediate proficiency with this. So, I invite your listeners, to give it a try. Um, even if it feels a little difficult to do to start with,, it will get easier. The more that they practice it. Um, some people find it very easy straight, but others struggle sometimes to feel the sensations, if they're disconnected from their pelvis. So I invite everyone. If you're able to do this, not if you're driving or operating heavy machinery. You place one hand on your heart. And the other hand, if it's appropriate, cupping your genitals and taking a few breaths down from your heart and then into your genitals with your inhale, and as you exhale, bringing that breath or imagining that breath moving up from your genitals and back to your heart.

Lorraine: So down with your inhale heart to your genitals and with your exhale back up from your genitals to your heart. Now, a couple more breaths down with your inhale and then back up with your exhale. Now with this next inhale, I invite you to be gentle porch. So you might feel this underneath your hand is as a little bit of a flexing of the muscles. And what I mean by a push is sort of the feeling that if you're defecating, if you're having a poo and you're pushing out, it's sort of a downward motion onto your hand. So as you breathe in gently pushing down, and then as you exhale, try this, relaxing, those muscles, breathing in a gentle push. You might not even be able to feel it, but just imagining gentle push relaxing as you breathe. Now, I invite you to bring a clench. So this is a squeezing of the pelvic muscles, what you would do if you were stopping yourself, having a way mid flow. So you can relax as you breathe in and then clench as you exhale, not be able to feel it underneath you, breathing in and relaxing and clenching as you exhale a couple more breaths, breathing in relaxing, clenching as you exhale, reading and relaxing, clenching as you exhale.

Lorraine: Now, I invite you to bring both of these actions together. So as we breathe in, we're going to check you push down. As we exhale, we're going to gently clench It's breathing in, bearing down, Breathing, clenching anything in there, in down Breathing, clenching, Breathing in, bearing down, Breathing, clenching, Gently, bringing your focus back into the room, back to the podcast.

Lorraine: So that was a short snippet. I would normally spend a whole session of an hour going through those processes very slowly with people and trying to incorporate something like that into lifestyle can be really wonderful for connecting with the pelvis and feeling into when there's tension, is it a clench, is it approach or is it relaxed learning to find that midpoint of relaxation is key,, and practicing the up and down. So with the down, it's important to remember not to push completely down as far as you can just do it to about 50 or 60% of what you could do and to remember to have those relaxation pauses when we do the up and the down as well, to make sure that we fit in some of that relaxation, because when I first started learning how to do this, I got chronically stuck in either the cleanse or the push. And I couldn't remember how to relax my pelvic floor. So it's important to have those pauses too.

Rahi: So, for listeners who might be in Australia, who are looking for you or sexological bodyworker, how can they find you or a sex bod where, that's doing practices near them?

Lorraine: So my website is LorraineP.com that AU, and they can contact me through my website. They can either book in a session directly there, or they can send me a message through my website to ask any questions that they need to, at the moment, depending on when this goes to air, and when people are listening to this podcast,, I'm not accepting new clients for bodywork due to the lockdown. Um, they, I'm doing zoom sessions where I can coach people online, anywhere in the world if they wanted to work with me.

Rahi: Awesome. Great, Lorraine, thanks so much for your time today.

Lorraine: Thank you, Rahi.

Rahi: How was it to engage your pelvic floor muscles on the in-breath and the out-breath. If you bring your attention to your pelvic floor now, do you notice a different sense of awareness within the layers of muscles, tissues and sensations? Can you explore massaging the subtle layers simply with your breath and muscle control? Next week, we continue discussing erections and other common issues that arise in sexual intimacy within couples, as we invite Celine Remy and Kevin Anthony to the podcast, also known as the Intimacy Angel and theTtruth Warrior. Celine, and Kevin share some of the most common sexual and intimacy issues they address and resolve in their work with couples. Until next time, take good care.