Rahi: Welcome to Organic Sexuality where we explore the restoration of pleasure, the reclamation of sexual sovereignty, and the realization of our embodied sexual nature. An invitation to honor the pleasures of your body by embodying the pleasures of your nature. I'm your host, Rahi Chun. I'm a certified somatic sex educator, a sexological body worker and creator of somatic sexual Wholeness.

Rahi: Before we explore today's episode, an announcement that the online course, the three keys to genital disarming for reclaiming and expanding pleasure early bird pricing will end on December 29th. Apply coupon code podcast for a $200 discount until early bird pricing ends on December 29th, or until registration closes with regular pricing on January 29th. All details about the course and registration can be [email protected] kajabi.com. Today's episode is a replay of a masterclass given by myself and Dr. Jennifer Lang, board certified gynecologic oncologist and obstetrician. We explore three simple questions from our perspectives as a certified sexological body worker, and from Jen's training from the Western medical model and her practice as an integrative gynecologist. The three questions are, what is genital health? What is genital pleasure and what is genital wholeness? For practical purposes, we cover specific techniques for how to de arm the clitoris, g-spot, and cervix for vulva owners and how to de arm the frenulum coronal ridge and base of the penile shaft for penis owners. Jen and I are close and dear friends and collaborators, and our conversation provides insights into how sexuality is viewed and treated from different professional scopes and lenses.

Rahi: Jen and I are going to hold space for this hour. The format of it is going to be, um, we're gonna introduce ourselves. We really want this to be full of practical, actionable, and effective material. Um, so we're gonna answer the three questions that were posed, which is, what is genital health? What is genital pleasure? And what is genital wholeness from our, our respective perspectives?

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Well, I'm really happy to be a part of this, uh, conversation today. As always, it's fascinating when we get to be be in conversation with each other. Um, my name's Jennifer Lang. I am an obstetrician gynecologist, uh, board certified and fellowship trained gynecologic oncologist. And I have a practice in integrative gynecology and preventive oncology based in Los Angeles, California.

Rahi: Who am I I'm still discovering that My name is Rahi Chun. I am a somatic sex educator, sexological body worker and creator of a body of work called somatic sexual Wholeness, um, which endeavors to hold space for repairing rupture sequentially that happened during the evolution of one's sexual embodiment. So what that means specifically is first addressing ruptures that occur during the developmental years of one's evolution, and then addressing ruptures that occur that occur during one's adolescence, which largely, um, have to do with boundary ruptures and repair, and then addressing any obstacles in the pelvic bowl, uh, within one's adult experiences. Um, and over the years, I've developed a base of knowledge in the realm of genital armoring or genital de armoring, and I teach that worldwide. Let's jump into these questions.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Fantastic. Okay, great. So, um, the way we thought that we would, uh, dive in is really just thinking about the question, what is genital health? What does that mean in your practice, rahi? Um, and how do you begin to even address and explore this when a client, um, arrives to work with you?

Rahi: Sure. When, when I think of genital health, I really think about what is the client's ability to attune to and relate with their own genitalia. So genital health can mean like a million different things to a million different people. What does it mean to you? And that's the question I would pose to listeners, whether you're here live or listening on the recording, is, you know, what is your capacity to attune to listen for and respond to your own genitals, desires, curiosities, or questions? And I feel like, you know, this ability to attune to what it is that our genitalia wants is, is influenced by two, two different areas. One is the state of our nervous system, and the other is what is the conditioning messages, beliefs we received about our own genitalia growing up? So, you know, when it comes to the nervous system, you know, we know that the state in which our nervous system is in, uh, affects everything from oxytocin flow in the body to the oxygenation of blood, which affects our genital health and specifically our genital sensitivity, tissue sensitivity.

Rahi: It also affects the degree to which we're hypervigilant in our mind, watching, assessing, judging, or are we really in the felt space of our genitalia? I kind of emphasize the importance of where our nervous system is, because I believe that's kind of the foundation of our genital health and our sexual health. So when our body is in what's called the social engagement stage, when we're feeling safe, the emotions most available to our bodies are those of compassion, calmness, groundedness, and I think very importantly, curiosity. So we can really be in a state of curiosity about our own genital health, our body, you know, what our body's wanting and the physiological effect of this is that this increases our ability to relate and connect, increases oxytocin, increases the oxygenation of our, uh, blood. It increases ity and voice. What it decreases is defensive behavior. When our nervous system goes up into either a fight or flight mode or a fond response, what goes up are our adrenaline, our heart rate, our defensive responses, and what decreases is our sexual functioning or sexual responsiveness.

Rahi: And of course, when we move up into the freeze, you know, in addition to the emotional states of dissociation, numbness, depression, shame is up here in freeze. And that's how debilitating shame is either sexual shame or feeling shamed from our primary, uh, group. And again, what decreases is our sexual responsiveness. So, you know, this is an indication of how, how vital our nervous, the role, our nervous system plays in our, uh, genital health. And then the other area is really how did we learn what we believe about our genitalia? Um, I think it goes all the way back to how we were potty trained, how we were diaper changed, what threats, uh, to belonging or perceived threats to love. And the loss of love was there regarding how our genitals were either welcomed, shamed, uh, respected, or uh, dismissed. And that's something that each of us, you know, has a very unique conditioning around around. So in answer to the question of like, what is genital health, I believe it, it, it really comes around like how attuned and responsive can we be to listening and attuning to what our genitalia wants, Jen?

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Yeah, it's such an interesting and really different view of the concept of health than that which, you know, I was raised in, in a traditional kind of western medical model, um, where health is kind of the flip side would be disease, right? Um, so, you know, we, we think of, uh, the meaning or purpose of the study of medicine is to to treat disease. And, and you're actually saying, well, no, , you know, uh, health, embracing health is, is attuning and listening. So if we're in attuning and listening and something isn't feeling good, um, you know, do we call that disease or do we call that health? You know, it's a really kind of interesting philosophical difference in, in mindset. And this is why I love our conversations rahi, because we can, we can come at them from such a, a different training and background, but, you know, arrive at at such a, you know, a similar conclusion where, you know, our, our highest goal for the clients and patients that come to us is that there is both that attuning to and recognizing of the voices and listening to and, uh, and the proceeding and the, with curiosity, as you said, I love that word, with curiosity of what our genitals have to say to us and how we can best care with them and for them.

Rahi: Yeah. I think, I think something that you and I agree upon, which I appreciate so much, is the, the understanding that the body is inherently wise and has all the wisdom of knowing, you know, what it best needs. We just need to create the spaciousness and the capacity to listen to that wisdom and actually facilitate the attuning process of what the body's trying to tell us.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Yeah. I mean, would you say that somebody who presents to you with say, pain in the, in their vulva, they're really attuned to that pain, they feel that pain on a daily basis, or they feel that pain when they engage in, in genital touch? Um, I mean, what would you, how do you reflect on that patient's or that client's presentation and this idea of health? Yeah,

Rahi: Sure. Great question. So, you know, my, my approach would be, well, the body is inherently wise. There is a reason and probably a good reason why the body is needing to guard or protect itself, which is re resulting in this discomfort or pain. So what is the threat to the genitalia's wellbeing? What is it making it want to protect itself or create this pain mm-hmm . And you know, like from there we can, we can look at what's happening in the client's life now, but I tend to wanna thread it all the way back to, well, what is this client's relationship with their genitalia and what do they believe, you know, in regards to, you know, their own sexuality and sexual wholeness? And oftentimes there's some sort of pattern that can be followed from their earliest years.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Yeah. I mean, I'll, I'll just contribute, you know, somebody showed up in a gynecology office complaining of vulvar pain. We might begin the process of kind of ruling out, you know, different kind of mechanistic, you know, ways that that pain could be generated. So we might check for, you know, presence of a, a virus, a bacteria, fungus. We might look at the, the nerves and, and see if there's any, uh, trigger to, you know, we might look at, uh, skin conditions and see if there's an autoimmune phenomenon taking place or inflammation coming from any other place. And, and, you know, kind of like going down this list of ruling out, ruling out, we might arrive and, and this is again, this is kind of traditional gynecology, we might arrive at like, oh, nothing, you know, nothing to be found here must be in your head, right? . And what I love about the somatic wholeness approach is it's like history, head, mind experience, polyvagal theory, nervous system set up, like, like is interwoven so intimately with, you know, our understanding of all of those other mechanisms. So it could be completely true that there is a held belief about one's genitalia's and a, um, a bacterial imbalance that the two can coexist, you know, that it's not like one or the other.

Rahi: Yeah. The two can coexist and you know, I mean, I'm always curious like, is it the emotions that is creating mm-hmm. The virus or the physiological illness, so,

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Or the predisposition to it or the lowered immune system that allows, you know Yeah. All it's so connected.

Rahi: Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, and it's fascinating. I mean, that's what makes it fascinating is like, no, nothing is cookie cutter. You know, each body has its own unique history and its emotional relationship with their own genitalia profoundly affects the state of their genitalia.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Mm-hmm . Well said. Well said. Um, do you wanna kind of move on to what is pleasure ?

Rahi: Sure, sure. I mean, that's a big topic. What is genital pleasure? You know, in thinking about that question, there are like two kind of, uh, rabbit holes. I went down like, well, what is genital pleasure for one person? It could be totally different than another. And so it really calls upon each of us to understand the genital landscape of pleasure, of our own genitalia. And this is where the practice of genital mapping, you know, like I'm a, I'm a certified sexological body worker in our field, genital mapping is kind of a, a pillar, and all, all it is, is a felt sense, somatic understanding of the erogenous anatomy. And I say felt sense because like, you know, we can look at images and be told what the erogenous anatomy is, but it's very different than actually feeling the sensations in the body that the different erogenous anatomy are des are designed to create mm-hmm .

Rahi: Uh, and then once those erogenous anatomy areas are understood, the com, the combination of these different erogenous zones elicits yet another kind of, you know, symphony of different sensations and pleasure within the body. So, you know, when it comes to genital pleasure, I feel like every genitalia is so unique. Like, you know, I had a training last year and, and there were some vulva owners who were, who referred to their, their vulvas as their Cox. So, you know, it is very, very unique. And then now, you know, there's a, people are, are taking different hormones to align with the, the, the gender that they identify with. So it really, it's upon each of us to understand the erogenous capacity of our own genitalia. Now in concert with that, the other kind of rabbit hole that I go down when posed this question is, once you understand your genital erogenous anatomy, there needs to be a capacity to give voice to you.

Rahi: You, you need to be able to give voice to that erogenous area. So it's not just that honey, my wants attention, it's that honey, you know, my frenulum would love, would love some contact, or my, my, my premium would love some loving touch. Or, you know, it's not just my vagina wants attention, it's the glands of my clitoris or the base of the shaft, or whatever it is. So it can be very, very specific and that really encourages and further deepens the erogenous and felt sense capacity of the genitalia. Chen, how does this land with you, and what does genital pleasure mean for, um, an integrative gynecologist?

Dr. Jennifer Lang: That's a great question, and it's, you know, one of my, I think, major frustrations with my field is that, um, you know, as, as opposed to your field where, you know, in a very hands-on way, you're able to, you know, be in conversation with the client's body around pleasure. Um, I think I'd lose my medical license if I did that , you know, and how insane is that, you know, that my field, uh, proceeds with procedures all the time that we would classify as painful, but if we dared to give pleasure to a patient, we could, you know, be, uh, you know, kicked out by the board. So, um, this is a really fascinating, and this is, I think why you and I professionally have collaborated so much over the years, is, is I just know that my field has these kind of currently limits on what we're able to address.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: And as somebody comes, you know, to a gynecologist seeking further, uh, exploration of their genital health and pleasure, you know, I, I know where they're really going to, you know, find the most benefit is, is working with a somatic sexual wholeness provider. Um, it's, it's not necessarily my office. Um, so what does pleasure mean for me? It, it, it means that, um, that that human is able to experience the full spectrum bandwidth and capacity of sensations, um, bringing, bringing joy, bringing bliss, bringing, um, orgasm if they want to, uh, and, and that they don't feel limited by some aspect of their genitals function or, or feeling. Is it so vague?

Rahi: Yeah, no, but it's, yeah. I mean, I think it, it has to be vague because it is so unique for, for each body. Yeah. But that, I mean, I remember when you told me how, um, in your gynecologic training, how little time was spent on genital pleasure, and yet, you know, so many of my clients, they, they will go to their OBGYNs seeking answers to why they're not experiencing, uh, sexual pleasure.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Mm-hmm . Yeah. There, there is so little, uh, training. I mean, there's now, uh, a bit of a subspecialty moving in the field of sexual health and, and, you know, pleasure is addressed there, but it, it's, it's really because as practitioners, we have sought this out and, you know, we're, we're demanding that this be just because so many patients and clients show up with this, is, this is their rightful, you know, goal, uh, desire to explore pleasure. And, but yeah, in terms of the, the anatomy, the genital mapping as it relates to pleasure, there's, there's none of that. You know, in anatomy lab, there's, you know, a little label arrow pointing to the glands of the clitoris and, you know, that's it. , you know, that's, it's really so, so limited. So u under discussed and appreciated.

Rahi: So speaking of glands of the clitoris, there are some images I'd like to share with the group here.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Let's do it.

Rahi: So, you know, as, um, Jen pointed out like the, so here's the full majesty of the clitoral network. So this is an image that, hi. So this is from Sherry Winston, and she has one of my favorite, she is author, one of my favorite books, the Women, uh, women's Anatomy of Pleasure. Um, she has given me permission to use this image. Um, so this is all the erectile network. Um, so you know, the, the engorge tissue, uh, within the female anatomy, you have the perennial sponge here at the floor or at the base, just inside, um, the vaginal opening. But look at how much engorge tissue there are in these vestibular bulbs, right. On either the, so this is under the outer labia. Um, there's as much engorge tissue, uh, here as there is in a, in, in a male penis. And yet, you know, we're not taught this, as Jen mentioned, we're just taught that the, the clitoris is the tip here.

Rahi: The, here it, it's labeled as head, but it's the glands. And you have an entire shaft. You've got these legs, and then the urethral sponge, which houses the G-spot. And the a spot or the anterior Forex area, uh, is also, uh, all engorge able as well. So, um, you know, I shared this statistic with my class that they've done studies in America, and the average American woman requires anywhere from 20 to 45 minutes of foreplay for the full erogenous capacity, uh, of their genitalia to be available. And the average lovemaking session in America is five to seven minutes. Okay. Here's another image. This is from Martin Buddha's training. Again, I received his permission. So this is just some of the, um, anatomical erogenous areas. So you have the clitoris here. I don't know if you can see my pointer.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: The glands,

Rahi: Yes. The clitoral glands. Right. Uh, here is, uh, the vaginal opening and, um, here's the urethral sponge, which how just the g spot in his image, he's made the, a spot or the anterior Forex quite large. Uh, the nerve plexus is very unique in everybody's configuration. So some g GPO areas might be large, might be more sensitive and stimulating. And for some, the, the anterior fornix may be, um, it all depends. And so, you know, as you can see, the proximity of the urethral sponge here to the bladder, which is here, is why oftentimes when the root, the, the urethral sponge is being stimulated, uh, there's a sensation of needing to pee. Um, 'cause it's right up against the, the bladder here. Um, here on the bottom is the Ps the perennial sponge, and then you have the cervix back here, which for most clients I find are armored be, you know, when they, when they first come in, because you know, for most teenagers, they're being penetrated and their cervixes are being banged up against before they're ready. And if there's proper foreplay, then the uterus lifts the cervix out of the way of an incoming finger or, or penis.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Right. You just used a word that I'm not sure all of our, our listeners are familiar with armored. Can, you know, we really haven't heard the idea of, of armoring the genitals. Can you break that down a little bit?

Rahi: Sure. So genital, so armor is the body's wise, wise and protective response when there is a threat to its safety or a perceived threat to its safety. So if something doesn't feel good, the tissues and fascia, especially because it's so sensitive around the genitalia, will, will start to numb or harden or, um, create discomfort that shows up as pain or desensitization or de connection. And, uh, this is what we refer to as armor. So, you know, I started to say the cervix here is often armored because, uh, because if it's not ready to be, um, connected with, or is connected with in a rough way before it's ready, then it will start to harden or from colposcopies or the, you know, IUD insertion or removal. I mean, anything that makes it feel unpleasant where it needs to protect itself, it will harden an armor. Um, so here's the cervix right below the cervix, or right next to it, I should say.

Rahi: There's a little p here. This is the posterior Forex. So up here we have the anterior forex, anterior of the cervix. Here we have the p or the posterior fornix posterior of the cervix. Um, and then down here we have the K spot. So the K spot, it stands for Kundalini spot. It's, it's hard to see here because this image is 2D and in a 3D scenario it's just center right of the client's rectum, but it's most easily accessible intravaginal. So I'll talk about the K spot a little later, but this is just to give you a map of it. So, you know, I think, I think most of society knows about the G spot by now and knows about the clitoris, but I don't know if people are familiar with the posterior fornix or the potential of cervical pleasure or the kpo. So again, going back to genital pleasure, these are all areas that are necessary to explore, to gauge how your erogenous areas want to be, um, want to be explored mm-hmm . And

Dr. Jennifer Lang: So how do you begin the process of mapping with a client?

Rahi: The process of mapping, the first thing is downregulating the nervous system to make sure the client can really attune and give voice to what their body is wanting. That's kind of foundational. Otherwise, it's a practitioner kind of doing their thing on a client's body and the sense of empowerment gets lost. So it really, there really has to be a downregulation of the client's nervous system, a practice of the client attuning to what their body wants, giving voice to what the body wants, and then receiving it. Only then is there mapping done. And so the mapping, again, it's usually after something I call full body active consent, which is like a full body massage or a full body sensual massage based on what the body is wanting to explore of itself. You know, once their nervous system is downregulated, they could give voice to their body, what the body wants to explore as far as the kinds and quality touch. And then we do the, the, the genital mapping. And it's the same whether it's a, a male client or a female client, or a transgendered client. It's really empowering the client of their erogenous capacity of their genitalia.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Beautiful. Thanks. You wanted to move into male? Male,

Rahi: I think, I think most male, uh, genitalia, like it's the shaft and the testicles that get a lot of attention, but it's actually the frenulum here where the co, where the coronal ridge meets the head, that's the, that's extremely sensitive on most penises. Um, and the corona itself, the coronal ridge has different sensations all the way around the ridge, uh, the glands of the penis, um, or the head as, as some people call. Um, and even the urethral opening has a unique sensation. And then, so below the testicles, you have the per, and when a man's erogenous capacity is, uh, is, is filling, is is getting full, the prostate starts to harden and becomes much more sensitive to erogenous stimulation. And, you know, some people love intra anal stimulation of the prostate. It's great. It's not necessary. You can stimulate the sensitivity of the prostate when there is arousal by just applying pressure against the premium.

Rahi: So you can stay external and still stimulate and, um, draw arousal and pleasure with the prostate. So, you know, the under shaft, or oftentimes it's called the Raffi, um, tends to be more sensitive than the sides or the top, but the frenulum is right here. And whether it's a circumcised penis or uncircumcised, you just, um, bring the fold of the skin back and, um, and the coronal ridge can be explored manually. It can be explored with a tongue, but, uh, the sensitivity can be heightened with, um, you know, de arming and greater sensitivity, I mean, greater attention to these areas. It's kind of like, the neat thing is, you know, I filled this with the whole genitalia, and this is, you know, key to genital pleasure is like the more attention is brought with sensitivity and and loving attention to any part of the body, the more sensitive it's gonna get. You know, so areas that are armored or desensitized can certainly become resensitized.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: I'm just gonna comment that something that I enjoy so much about your work, rahi and this masterclass is just the way we are really de-stigmatizing pleasure right now.

Rahi: Hmm.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Like, it, it's so funny how, you know, as medical professionals we will, you know, contort ourselves to avoid talking about dis pleasure and there's such a level of discomfort that somehow pleasure for its own sake is not valid. Right? That pleasure needs to be there to fix a problem. Or, you know, if there's some underlying disease or pathology that's inhibiting pleasure, well then maybe we could talk about it. Mm-hmm . But pleasure for its own sake, uh, still carries so much stigma. And, um, and I just feel that having these kinds of conversations is really important for, you know, um, working to change that,

Rahi: Working to change it. And I mean, just for general health of a society like pleasure is medicine, pleasure is what, you know, it's like after you've had a great lovemaking session or you know, cuddling or snuggling or making, I mean, there's more step in your, you know, there, there's just more energy in your, in your whole system. So I, I think it's just energy, it's life force. And I agree. I think if we focused on pleasure as a society, not only would we be a lot happier, but I think a lot of the ailments and those diseases would, um, you know, would be minimized.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: That seems like a great segue into talking about wholeness.

Rahi: Yes.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: What genital wholeness is.

Rahi: Sure. How

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Would you define that?

Rahi: Well, I think we've been talk like genital wholeness for me is like what we've been discussing, the ability to attune to and really listen for what the genital authentically desires, you know? 'cause we, I think in our society, we often use our genitalia to perform, you know, to affirm our, our sexual egos. You know, sometimes to distract ourselves or to avoid the, you know, like that's all fine, no judgment about that. But to really, to really like listen right. For what its desires are. Uh, but genital wholeness for me is to remove any obstacles in the way of wholeness. So for me, that comes in the form of genital disarming. And you know, again, when you pose the question, Jen, like armor can come in, in the form of the tissues in fascia feeling a, a need to protect itself from a threat or a perceived threat.

Rahi: And like the obvious examples would be like a rape or an incest or a molestation. But it can also come from loving couples who are in a pattern of having penetrative intercourse before the body is fully warmed up and ready. So it's really, you know, and then over years or over decades, armor can form. Mm-hmm. And so it can also happen from situations where there's like a, a threat of one's genitalia from extreme religious beliefs. Like if you believe, 'cause I've got clients who were raised to believe if they're like, if, if they're feeling sexual arousal, it means they're gonna go to hell. So imagine what that does to a child if they, if they believe, if they've been taught that arousal means they're going to hell and they're wiping themselves after urinating and they feel some pleasure. So this is how armor forms. So genital wholeness for me is really removing the obstacles and armor in the way of feeling sexually whole and embodied. And I do want to, I do wanna share some kind of practical, uh, tools and techniques for deaming the genitalia. But I wanna hear from you first, Jen.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Yeah. I mean, I, I love your definition of, of wholeness and, and I would even kind of, uh, relate it back to what you said just a few moments before about, uh, life force and the benefits for all of society. You know, I feel like, and, and when you were talking about the ways people use their genitals, you know, I, what I wanted to add is, you know, there's, there's just so much pain and so much trauma in our society by, you know, genitals that have been used for power and domination. Mm-hmm . You know, it when you talked about in service to ego structure, like so much misuse of this beautiful life worth energy for power and domination. And that has resulted in so much pain. So I see wholeness, um, as a, a reeducation of our entire society, um, to de-stigmatize pleasure to, uh, attune to the authentic kind of, um, somatic experiencing of our own bodies, um, to, uh, kind of a facility with consent based language, um, with ourselves and, and with partners.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: And to an extension of that, um, pleasure factory, you know, to, uh, the benefits of the, of the entire world. Uh, that's how I see wholeness. And, and I think that this, this kind of bridging of worlds, you know, there, there's definitely something that modern medicine, you know, there's a knowledge base, there's something to offer, but it is, it falls so far short of that vision for wholeness. Um, and that's why I love collaborating with you so much, Rahi, because I, I feel like these are really complimentary systems that together can lead, you know, towards this idea of wholeness

Rahi: Together. It can lead to a revolution.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Yes. A pleasure revolution.

Rahi: A pleasure revolution. I love it. Okay. Um, so there are specific techniques, um, for de arming different erogenous areas. So I wanna share a number of them here so that this is actually practical and you can have takeaways here. Um, so, you know, once again, you know, Jen asked me earlier about the process of how I, I do dapping. And I, I really feel like these are important steps not only for mapping, but before deaming as well. So, you know, I mean, it goes without saying, but I should. But I do need to say that it's very, very important and critical that the nervous system feels very, very safe and downregulated before any kind of disarming. Because, because deaming is touching into, uh, unintegrated emotions or, uh, oftentimes traumatic emotions from past, uh, traumatic events that are keeping the armor in place. There needs to be safety as the essential foundation for those emotions to come forward and feel safe enough to be expressed and discharged.

Rahi: And so just understand that the heart of disarming is really bringing safety to parts of the genitalia that did not feel safe enough to feel or express these emotions in the past. Right? So nervous system safety and then making sure that the body has the capacity to give voice to what it is that it wants. If it wants to pause, if it wants to stop, if it wants things di done differently. You know, this is really where the Bo body's genitalia can reclaim its agency. And then after the genital mapping, some specific techniques, clitoris, I feel like is often overstimulated or over relied on. I mean, it is the only anatomical part of the body that has no other function, but for pleasure. But it can be overstimulated, you know, in a variety of ways. And so the easiest way to start to deamer the clitoris is a simple vaginal steam.

Rahi: And I recommend vaginal steaming for a variety of reasons, but that could be one easy way if the client's body is not ready to receive touch. One effective way is, if I'm facing the, if, if one is facing the pelvis to hold the clitoral shaft in place with one hand or with one finger, usually in an index finger, and making tiny little circles down along the shaft from the base of the shaft down to the clitoral glands or head. And then when there is any discomfort burning stinging to pause and just have the client breathe deeply into the stinging burning sensation and discharge that sensation with sound. So it might be, uh, and then emotion might come forward. It could be emotion from a past rape, it could be an emotion from something that is unknown. It doesn't really matter as long as that energy has an opportunity to discharge.

Rahi: Now, when you are self disarming, you can do it with yourself. And a great technique is to place a finger where the shaft is coming out of the body and have part of the finger on your, your pubic mound where the shaft is exiting the, um, the body and the other part of the finger on the, the shaft that is just coming out of the body and doing little circles, all like a semicircle all the way around. And again, if there's any burning, stinging discomfort to pause, just be with it, see if there's any memory or image coming to you, and breathe into it and discharge it with a sound. So those are some, uh, approaches for the clitoris. So the g the urethral sponge. So for the G-spot and the interior area, I really love using organic castor oil. So I will place organic castor oil on the tip of my finger, and I will just, when once the body is ready to receive my finger, I'll just set it against the g-spot.

Rahi: Organic castor or the, we know the property of the castor seed, uh, is such that it facilitates more blood flow and it breaks down scar tissue. So after about sometimes 4, 5, 6 minutes, my, the tip of my finger will start to feel blood pulsing at the G crest or at the g spot. And then my finger will just mirror that pulsing. And oftentimes the client will be like, oh God, what is that? I feel, you know, and it'll be breaking up the armor at the G crest. And you can do that further in at the interior fornix as well, right? So organic castor oil. Oh, so I talked about the K spot earlier. So the K spot, so if this is the vaginal opening, um, the case spot is just to the client's right of center, and there's a little dip there, it's on the floor.

Rahi: So this is the perennial sponge, this is the case spot, just right of center. There's a little dip. And once you start massaging gently, what I have found is the client will start to say, oh gosh, I feel something. But it's just so weird because it's right next to the rectum. So it's a weird sensation. And then after continued palpation, something will happen and they'll be like, oh, I could see how eventually this could be pleasurable. And then the more it's palpated, the more ti the more, uh, sensations it elicits. And then eventually it'll be like, wow, this feels really good. And people can have orgasms just from case but stimulation. So there's the cervix as well. And the cervix is kind of its own unique holy grail to honor. I'll just say that if you're deaming the cervix, you want to be very, the cervix responds to love, whether it's in love making or a loving touch, and it's the upper left hand quadrant.

Rahi: So that's the client's upper left hand quadrant of the cervix. So the cervix and the os that tends to, that often is, is re responsive or receptive. So what I do is I, I'll go in based on the client's guidance, and I, I I I, the upper left hand quadrant, if there's some responsive sensation, then you just wanna expand that responsive sensation and just keep doing like either little strokes or microneedling, just like little gentle, you know, they call it dotting or microneedling. You know, sometimes I'll use two fingers on either side of the o or cervix or circles, but once I find an area that has responsiveness, I wanna have that grow. And a lot of times what's very, uh, effective with de arming is if the cervix is experiencing a little bit of responsiveness, not that much, but a little bit. But let's say the client's clitoris is a, a real source of agency of pleasure, then I will simultaneously stroke both. And this will somehow, it rewires the brain because it's experiencing pleasure, but it's also experiencing palpation in an area that traditionally didn't have a lot of responsiveness, but that will start to change. You can do that with any area intravaginally. You can do it with the urethral sponge and the clitoris if the clitoris is responsive. So any area of responsiveness with a more armored area can de arm that area.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Fascinating and material that I wish, you know, was, uh, widely disseminated for self deaming and deaming between partners and partner being as well as professionally. I feel like, uh, if more practitioners had this knowledge, we would have so much more sensation and so much more pleasure, um, accessible to us all.

Rahi: And think of all the, I mean, you know, think of all the conflict within relationships that as a result of unfulfilled sexual desires. So, so I wanna, I wanna briefly mention, so just to be fair, like some de armoring. So here's the, you know, a really, again, nervous system, downregulation, full body sensual massage, giving voice to what the body wants. A lot of frenulums are, are armored because there's a lot of, you know, a lot of guys when they're teenagers or in their twenties, certainly when I was a teenager, will over, I don't know, I don't wanna say over, but a lot, and the frenulum can start to get tense. So an easy way to deamer the frenulum is to take a deep breath and on the exhale, just stretch. It just, it's, it's kind of common sense. It's like when there's a tense part of the skin or body, you take an inhale, uh, and just diagonally stretch the frenulum very gently in, in opposing directions.

Rahi: It could be like a, a opposing left and right. It could be like a, an X. And then with the coronal ridge, if there's any armor or desensitization there, you can do it by breathing in and then exhaling and just stretching the coronal ridge. Uh, so you always want to discharge, give an area of discharging any armor, right? Mm-hmm. So you're not holding in unintegrated or unexpressed emotion or experience, but you're giving a discharge to it, right? So you can do that all around the coronal ridge. Uh, and then, you know, another thing for guys is sometimes the base of the shaft can, can accumulate armor, especially when there's a lot of performance pressure. Another way is just to grip the base of the shaft, make sure the, the shaft is like extended, and then on the exhale, just stretch the base of the shaft back to the left forward and right with each exhale. Uh, so essentially what we're doing with the kernel ridge, the fulu and the base is giving more space for blood to come in to, uh, to break up any hardened tissue in fascia.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Are you also using castor oil with your d armoring?

Rahi: You could because it increases blood flow. I, I tend to use organic, um, coconut oil. Hmm. Uh, but castor oil is, castor oil is especially good for areas, uh, that have scar tissue or have hardened because it tends to break that up. Now you mentioned couples Jen. Mm-hmm. So something I want to um, introduce is like if couples wanna de arm or just have fun, you can, you can de arm the frenulum and the, and or the c clitoris by just gently rubbing the frenulum on the clitoral glands the shaft or around the clitoral complex. I mean, a guy can be, um, like on his knees and you can place a pillow underneath the female body. You can either do this intentionally to de arm if the female clitoris is armored or if the male frenulum is armored because there is a energetic frequency that is unique to the clitoris and the frenulum that will stimulate each other. And so you can really de arm the flimm and clitoris that way. Or if parts of the raffi or the under shaft are armored or places along the inner labia, you can also de armer this way and also make contact with the clitoral glands and the frenulum. So, you know, couples can, I mean, one, it's really hot foreplay, but it's also a way to bring more sensitivity by, um, utilizing the energetic frequency of these genital erogenous areas.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: And for inclusiveness, I have no doubt that vulva owners can DM with other vulva owners and kept cog owners and

Rahi: Yes. Two at the frenulum. Absolutely.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: I'm sure the energetic frequencies are right on as well.

Rahi: , it'll blow the roof off your house.

Dr. Jennifer Lang: Yeah. Great.

Rahi: How is today's episode landing in your body right now? How do you define what your genital health, genital pleasure, and genital wholeness are for you and for your body? Are there areas of your genitalia that have become desensitized or elicit discomfort or numbness that you can begin to explore resolving on your own or with a partner? And is your definition of sexual wholeness in alignment with the practitioners you entrust with the care of your body? Links to our sites and to the three keys to Genital Deaming online course are in the show notes. Until next time, blessed holidays and take good care.